Fat, Crazy, Not Real Bright, and a Weenie

I went to the doctor the other day and you know what she told me?  My blood pressure is too high.  Who?  Me?  I was surprised because, in my younger days, my blood pressure was so low several nurses tried to resuscitate me, vigorously, before I could convince them I was indeed still alive.

My doctor is a very nice woman who states things in very kind terms.  When she asked me if my blood pressure had always been high, I said no, not at all.  She said, “Sometimes, when one’s weight is proportionate to one’s height, one’s blood pressure goes back down into the normal range.”  Awwww…isn’t that a sweet way of telling me I’m fat?  I thought it was.  I even said, “that is so sweet,” whereas she looked at me like I was a little crazy.  Great, she probably thought, fat and crazy.

It appears I have to work on my fitness levels, and apparently my weight.  I get tired of working on my yearly goals with the same ol’ ‘let’s lose 20 pounds’ goal.  Janet told me, “Hey, instead of just writing it down in our 2013 goals, why don’t we actually lose 20 pounds?”  Hmmmm.  Interesting.  I thought Janet’s statement was incredibly supportive:  if Janet lost 20 pounds she would literally be skin and bones.  I’m thinking she would have to give up a kidney and maybe a lung to lose any more weight.

So, in 2013, I will endeavor, not only to lose those ubiquitous 20 pounds, but to increase my fitness level so I can walk up a couple of flights of stairs without wheezing, increase my fruits/veggie consumption from 1-2 a day to 6-10 a day, and to significantly increase my intake of whole grains and lower my white sugar intake.  Don’t worry: these are tears of joy on my face.

When I told my doctor I was thinking about doing a triathlon this summer, she said, ‘I don’t want you running or lifting weights.’  Really?  That’s wonderful!  Sorry, Janet, no can do, doctor’s orders!  Imagine my heartbreak when, after she paused, she added: ‘until we get your blood pressure down’.  Crap.  Here I thought I had the golden doctor’s note; the one which got me out of gym class for life.

Now, Janet and I are registering for a 5k on March 3rd.  Granted, it’s the Hot Chocolate 15/5k, but I don’t think that’s the only reason Janet picked this race.  The Ronald McDonald House is the charity involved and I can’t think of a better charity for donating time and money.  I’m starting off slow, with my training, and hope to be able to run the whole thing by March.

When I told my doctor about the triathlon, I told her not to worry:  it wasn’t an Ironman, it was just a baby triathlon.  She looked at me and said, “There’s no such thing.  That’s like me telling a patient, ‘you just had a baby heart attack.’”  Oh, doctors and their funny sense of humor.  Then she gave me that look…so now she thinks I’m fat, crazy, and not real bright.

This triathlon, Eppie’s Great Race, is a 5.82 mile run/12.5 mile bike ride/6.35 mile kayak.  That sounds like a lot when I read through the website.  I’m hoping I can be ready by July and if I start now, I will be.  If I have goals (and actually spend money on something) I will treat it like something I have to do and not something I’ll do if I feel like it.

Another thing Janet and I signed up for is the Moon Joggers challenge.  You can sign up for the privilege of jogging/walking 1000 miles in 2013.  You can join as an individual or as a team.  I joined as a team of two, I wasn’t sure I could walk/jog 1000 miles in 2013, by myself, depending on my blood pressure issue.  Great, so now I’m fat, crazy, not real bright, and a weenie.  No, seriously, I’m taken already, people.




Filed under Health

4 responses to “Fat, Crazy, Not Real Bright, and a Weenie

  1. Karyn

    Sounds like we need to get another 6 week challenge together. Though I did lose weight this year (thanks to those challenges at the beginning of the year), that loss number is shrinking. As my dear husband puts it, I’ve fallen off the wagon and got ran over by it. Repeatedly Let’s do this Jenn.

  2. Andrea

    Take care of yourself and train! You can do it. When Camille and Jessie were 2 and 3, I did the Danskin Tri. I trained from the new year until June, of course increasing when the weather got better. It was one of the most gratifying things I have done. Doing a “baby” Tri will inspire you! I am proud of your comment Jenn! Happy New Year to you, Janet and Jessie!

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