Our anniversary, Janet and mine, is coming up soon and we’ll be this many (just imagine me with 4 fingers held up). It’s hard to believe Janet has put up with me for as long as she has and she swears she’s not done with me yet!
How do people stay together after the initial honeymoon phase is over? I have no clue. I think it helps if you like each other and love each other at the same time. Yes, those are two very different and important feelings. I also think it’s important when the things you have in common are big and the places you differ are small and mostly just add spice to your life.
Here are some things we have in common.
Our Basic Fibers
Call them what you want: morals, ethics, principles, beliefs. Your fundamental beliefs should be very similar, in my opinion. Our right and wrong meters are closely linked and I don’t know of any real differences in our morals. I’m pretty sure Janet’s not a serial killer. I’m still here.
Our Sense of Humor
I had a hard time deciding where to put this one, our funny bones are very different, but decided on a commonality because we both love humor; it’s such an important part of our lives together. I’m more of a slapstick kind of a gal. I have a knack for saying things people are not expecting. Janet is more of a straightforward humorist. But we both crack each other up on a daily basis.
Our Love of Travel
Not shocking, really (curse you, Budge!). It would be cheaper if neither of us liked to travel, but since that’s not the case, I’m glad we both do with equal fervor. Even with her travels for work, Janet still loves to travel for fun. This year we’re going to the Dakotas and next year, if all goes according to schedule, we’re heading for Greece for our 5th. Unless the Greeks are still rioting in the streets, then we’ll go to the Florida Keys or somewhere else mellow.
Our Love of Eating Out
Another Budge buster, but something we definitely have in common. I like to eat out because I’m not much for cooking and clean-ups are a breeze. Janet likes to eat out to try things she doesn’t want to or won’t make at home. Fried chicken is a good example: it’s a lot of work to make and I won’t let Janet make that big of a mess in the kitchen.
Here are some of our differences.
I was born on the west coast and Janet was born on that other coast. The east coast is much more formal than the west, much older and conservative. I spent my first 23 years in Seattle; and, well, Janet’s probably really happy that I shave. This isn’t such a bad difference; Janet has brought some formality into my manners and I’ve taught her the art of snarkiness and drama queen-isms.
Our Love of Animals
I was a little concerned, at first, with Janet’s lack of enthusiasm for puppies and kittens, but I think she’s coming around to Jessie and my point of view. I think the pros of animals outweigh the cons by a ton or two. We’ll talk about this point in a few months.
Janet and I are the polar opposites in temperaments with Janet not liking confrontations and me enjoying them immensely. I’m a hot head and Janet gets very quiet when shown anger. She just steps back and lets me fizzle out. I don’t believe this is a deal breaker, at least not so far, but it’s something I should probably work on.
Janet doesn’t drink. At all. She will take sips of wine and exotic drinks of mine but that’s as far as her consumption goes. I, on the other hand, enjoy drinking. I don’t drink as much as I used to and if I did I’m sure this would become a problem for us. It sucks being sober around heavy drinkers: they’re loud, obnoxious and think they’re funny. I don’t need alcohol to act like that.
This blog was harder than I thought it would be to write: Janet and I have a lot in common and very few really important differences. I could have mentioned a lot more things in common. For instance: our love of learning, our fear of getting older, our love of the outdoors, how we both love a good commitment, our love/hate relationship with TV/exercise/eating healthy…the list goes on and on.
I still love and like Janet. I find her funny, intelligent, driven, and loving. Our goals are the same (get Janet off the road), our different styles of humor surprise and amuse us, and we’re concentrating on, not only the here and now, but our future together as a family of three. All in four short years.