Janet and I were talking the other day about the sometimes unpleasant side effect of increasing a person’s daily fiber intake. It takes your intestines a while to adjust from squishy white bread to sprouty grainy healthy bread. It takes your taste buds even longer. I won’t bore you with the details just know it takes your stomach AT LEAST two weeks to adjust.
Coincidentally, Janet and I started “Karen’s” second challenge a little over two weeks ago and one of the challenges was to increase our whole grain consumption. If it wasn’t for Sun Chips and Frosted Mini Wheats, I don’t know how we would get by. I think this is Janet’s least favorite challenge but I still have to say the fruits and veggies challenge is my least favorite. I can hear the “healthy people” really laughing at us right about now.
So, Janet and I were talking about the consequences of our eating actions and I thought it was the funniest conversation. If I was sitting at the next table over at Starbucks listening to that conversation I would think, “Those people should be thankful they have each other, I can’t imagine anyone else could love them, let alone be in the same room with them. Hmm…what’s that smell?”
Anyhoo, it started me thinking. I am grateful Janet loves me because I couldn’t imagine anyone else putting up with me. What if I had to put a personal ad out there, looking for someone to date me, and what if I had to be honest? What would that look like?
Middle aged woman looking for a little loving! But not for too long…menopause is just around the corner. I’m only middle aged if I make it to 86 and at my bodies rate of deterioration I don’t see that happening, sorry. I’ve adopted a healthier lifestyle; one which makes me fragrant and a little crampy. I’m sure that will pass though. Literally. One of my best physical features are my feet. Did you ever watch The Flinstones? My feet look just like that. Yeah, like Fred’s! Although, they do differ in the fact I don’t remember Fred’s as hairy as mine. A great trait, out of many, is the inability to remember things. So, if you want someone who’s flaky, who MIGHT remember to pick up your dry cleaning; I’m the one for you! Life with me would be adventurous: I might be there when you get home…I might have wondered off! Who knows where I might be! And the best part? I can only see me getting better as I get older. What was I talking about?
Wow, when I put it like that, I’m not surprised I have a death grip on Janet. What crazy person would answer that ad? Of course, if it were truly an ad we could doctor it up. I could just say something about my being a healthy middle-aged woman with an adventurous streak who resembles a famous person. That’s not too much of a lie. Not too much of the truth, either.