Things I Don’t Like

I wrote a list of things I liked, a while back, so I thought I’d write down a list of things I don’t like.  Since there are many, many, many…well quite a few things I don’t like, I’ll only share the short list.  I left off the obvious: poverty, mean people, politicians, materialism, illness, extremely fit people, (damn fit people out there exercising ALL THE TIME, who has that kind of time anyway) etc.  Here they are, in no particular order:

Sour Candy: When did kids start liking their candy sour?  I don’t know what the draw is for putting things in your mouth that make you cringe:  are kids really that masochistic?  I was so annoyed, around Valentine’s Day, when I accidentally bought sour conversation hearts.  They were terrible:  I don’t know how I managed to eat the whole box.  It made me a little queasy.

Mushrooms:  Am I the only person who realizes these are a form of fungus? Seriously, I would not be happy if a doctor told me I had a fungal infection; I certainly wouldn’t scrape it off and put it in soup for flavoring.  (Janet Note: Auwck! Tongue sticking out! I USED TO LIKE MUSHROOMS.)

Child Pageants: This is a creepy one and it bothers me more than I can ever express.  I think of parents who put their kids through beauty pageants as similar to parents with Munchausen by Proxy.  Have you heard of this?  It’s where a parent, usually the mother, will poison their kids to draw sympathy and attention towards themselves.  Jessie and I were in Las Vegas, by the pool, when a woman came up to me and asked if my daughter was in the pageant.  I said ‘no, of course not’, before I realized the woman’s daughter must have been; that’s what I gathered from the look on her face.  Oops, no response editing, thoughts just slip right out before I realize.  And curse these facial expressions of mine, they never work when I want them to, no Texas Hold’em for me in Vegas.

Tomatoes: I’ve tried to like tomatoes.  I love ketchup and tomato sauce; I just don’t like the consistency of certain foods.  Tomatoes are a prime example.  I like crunchy things.  Is there such a thing as a tomato chip?

Television: I mostly don’t like TV.  I have a serious love/hate relationship with it.  Several years ago, my one TV broke down and I took it to be fixed.  The gentleman told me it would take 2 weeks and I was heartbroken: how could I go that long without watching anything?  (Okay, this was a couple of decades ago, before all this tech stuff.)  Those were the best two weeks.  I read and went for walks and had long interesting conversations with friends.  And my house was very clean.  Basically, I was a productive human being.  When the repairman called and said the TV was done, what do you think was my response?  Exactly.  I yelled, “Oh, Thank God!” and ran down to get it.

Romance Novels:  I’m sorry. I just don’t like the romances.  I’ve tried reading several, I just can’t enjoy myself.  I don’t like the flowering prose or the ‘build-up’ to anyone’s throbbing members.  I originally thought I could write a romance.  Then a friend read a rough draft and told me there wasn’t nearly enough sex in the book to be called a romance.  I’m okay with that.  Now I’m a ‘fiction’ writer geared towards the LGBTQ crowd.  Okay, really only the L part.

Loud People:  Even though I’m losing my hearing at a rapid pace, loud people still annoy me, especially when they live above and below me.  Whose idea was it to live in the middle apartment?  Oh…me?  I don’t know what the people upstairs are doing but it sounds like a combination of zumba/horse training/pole vaulting/cage matches.

People who leave their grocery carts in the middle of the parking lot: These sure aren’t the fit people.   Seriously, I’m an incredibly lazy human being, but I always put mine in the cart corral.  It’s strategically placed every dozen cars or so.  When I’m feeling extra spunky, I take it back up to the store.  Okay, that doesn’t happen very often, only when I’m doing a step competition and I’m desperate.

February as a sports month: I’m not a big basketball fan.  I usually reserve my energies for baseball and then football: my two favorite sports to watch.  Janet and I went to a Trailblazer’s game last month and that was a lot of fun, but I don’t like to sit around and watch basketball on TV, which is truly saying something since I love to sit around and I love/hate my TV.

jenn

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