So, Janet and I are attempting a budget next year. I know…why on earth would we do that? If we stick to our self imposed frugality, Janet could conceivably, possibly, perhaps think about retiring in about 10 years. I don’t just mean ‘get off the road’, I mean stay-at-home-and-bug-jenn-all-day retire.
Janet and I picked an arbitrary number and are taking time this month and next to keep track of every dime and see if said number is feasible. I’ve realized something the past couple of weeks: we spend a lot of money. Bunches. Yikes, this is going to be difficult. I’ve been racking my little brain trying to figure out where we can cut back. Since traveling seems to be an addiction for both of us, I decided to cut back on gifts.
What happened to my carefree youth? Where I woke up Christmas morning, not having spent a dime on anyone, and received a bunch of cool toys? Oh yeah, I had to grow up. Christmas has gotten way too expensive, since I have no talent for crafts. Maybe if I celebrate (small celebrations mind you) different holidays throughout the year, Jessie and Janet won’t notice if we skip Christmas next year.
I googled ‘weird holidays 2012’ and found www.holidayinsights.com. I had no idea there were so many…um, interesting holidays out there. Some are too serious a topic for me; some I don’t want to explain to Jessie; some I don’t want to explain to Janet; and some I just don’t have the energy to do. Really, how can I be honest the entire day? I found about 2 per month I think my little family can celebrate:
Jan 3 Humiliation Day – I figure chances are pretty good I’ll do something humiliating on this day. I’ll probably even spread this one out over the whole year.
Jan 18 Thesaurus Day – This lone commemoration might be a merriment, if one brings forward the expenditure of energy.
Feb 22 Be Humble Day – I’m just not sure I can do this one…and I know Jessie can’t! But we can try. We are trying, aren’t we Janet?
Feb 26 National Pistachio Day – I love pistachios, I can celebrate this one. I hope this holiday is close to ‘have-a-hammer-handy’ day. I can’t get the stupid things open sometimes.
Mar 10 Middle Name Pride Day – Wear it with pride, even if your middle name is Estelle or Adele. Mine is Lynne with an E and I liked it so much, I gave it to Jessie. My baby sister’s is Marina (she’ll tell you her name is Kristina Marie, but I like mine better).
Mar 30 I Am In Control Day – Just once, one day out of the year, I would like to be in control. Of everything.
Apr 1 International Fun at Work Day – I’m pretty sure this has something to do with April Fool’s Day. We’ll celebrate this day with…
Apr 3 Don’t Go To Work Unless It’s Fun Day – Exactly. Pizza, popcorn and movies, come on over!
May 11 Eat What You Want Day – When did that stop being every day?
May 20 Be A Millionaire Day – Oh please, dear Lottery God, let me be a millionaire! I’ve tried poor and I don’t like it much. I have enough character now.
Jun 1 National Doughnut Day – I will definitely spend the day eating doughnuts. Good way to start the summer bikini season.
Jun 18 National Splurge Day – Janet and I will try and splurge just on this day. I’m thinking we should call AMEX and give them a heads up.
Jul 3 Stay Out Of The Sun Day – I had to laugh at this one until I realized it must be for people in Arizona and Texas. 300 overcast days a year, good chance we won’t get any sun today. For us in the Pacific Northwest it’s ‘Get Out Your Happy Light’ Day.
Jul 16 Nothing is picked for this day! What should we do today? Wow, skies the limit. How about: Why’d I Marry You? Day (Tell her why she married you because, seriously, she might have forgotten at this point). Barf Out a Confession Day (run up to a love one, yell out a dark hidden secret, and run away. Ah, good times.)
Aug 10 Lazy Day – I am all over this day. It was hard choosing between this one and ‘National Goof Off Day’ in March. I’ll probably do both, to be honest.
Aug 30 Frankenstein Day – this one might be fun. You could have monster parties, dress up time, movies, electricity…you name it!
Sep 2 National Beheading Day – I’m pretty sure this is illegal, but I could be wrong. I just thought it was weird.
Sep 23 Dog in Politics Day – I’m sure our 4 legged friends could do just as well, in Congress, as the current group of animals. I’m for it. Send in a couple of cats, too.
Oct 2 Name Your Car Day – I love this one. My Mom always named her cars Betsy. I haven’t done my car yet, but we named our GPS unit Mavis.
Oct 3 Virus Appreciation Day – As a science geek, this one amuses me. I’m not sure appreciation is the right word, but you gotta love the little bugs.
Nov 2 Look For Circles Day – Oh, I like this one. Jessie and I could have a ball! <–Circle!
Nov 17 Take a Hike Day – I take this in the literal sense, not the ‘get out of my face’ sense. I like to wander around in the woods. I even like it when I get lost out there. For the first day or so.
Dec 4 Wear Brown Shoes Day – This is a little oddballish day. I don’t believe I own brown shoes. Luckily, I have Splurge Day earlier in the year.
Dec 16 National Chocolate Covered Anything Day – Hey, Janet has her own day!
See, who needs to spend all that money at Christmas time? Most of these holidays require just a little bit of thought (Janet), craftiness (Jessie), and laziness (Me). Retirement, here we come!